The journey has never been easy for women who struggled to achieve what they wanted. Should I call it transcending a restrictive upbringing to pursue what means more to us ? Or is it about fighting back with stealth, stubbornness and sarcasm?
26, educated, and
working as a techie for about 4 years now, yet things have not proved much
beneficial on grounds of my literacy, job, or being a popular blogger in my
small circle of friends and colleagues. Certain struggles have been really
staggering , and this piece of blog should be nothing but a searingly honest
account of the battles silently fought , the pains endured and the strength
acquired.
Someone said it
right. It is hard to be a woman. You must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work
like a horse. A veneer of sophistication and glamour is naturally associated
with ladies. No wonder, women have earned good places in the corporate
hierarchy of the respective professions. Having achieved all of that, today women are encouraged to function in an increasingly
compartmentalized, unnatural fashion. Outside home we are encouraged to use our brains to serve the
corporate world, and inside home there is a plethora of domestic work
besides mothering a child, husband and the family. A woman’s body is designed
to function in a certain way, which includes fertility, and healthy
cycles, deviation from which might surprise a major part of the society when
the result is not as expected. It is unknown that, a disruption from the normal
biological manifestation has never made anyone less of a woman.
While women need
appreciation as a whole-both mind and body, all I see is dogmatism running
errands about a woman’s self-esteem and worth, bringing them down. There is
much more about a woman, than her body. How many of us talk about marriages
falling apart because of Endometriosis! A disease hitting one out ten women in
America and growing at an alarmingly high rate in India. Is it the sterile
aesthetics and plasticized beauty, or the taboo around woman’s physiological
problems that has taken the focus far away from the authentic empathy for the
pained?
What more? I
am a feminist, and I am screwed.
I idealize
about how the length of my clothes should not judge my moral character, but I
have nothing to do and only negotiate with my feminist ideologies when the bus
conductor stares at the peeking pink bra strap, with boggling eyes and shyly cover
them.
I want to be
unapologetic about the fact that I work as hard as any male bread earner,
amidst a lot of men, competing with them and that there is a lot of struggle
each day navigating the patriarchy. But I cannot shun the ones who ogle, label
me as bossy, demanding, over ambitious. A male counterpart doing the same thing,
is heralded for his authoritative skills.
In the domestic domain, as
a daughter/daughter-in-law, as a wife, or as a mother I wish to be more vocal,
because I am the one rolling round chapattis, mothering my child, cooking,
cleaning, feeding, balancing my outside world with my family, when not a day
passes by without being pushed and shoved in a crowded bus, on way to work. I
wish to raise my girls teaching them gender equality, to think liberally, to be
aware, and modest. 150 years of a lot of Feminism! And I still see myself being
socially challenged by the system, that dictates the way women ought to dress,
walk, work, and talk. Hypocritically, I cannot be unremorseful, and only feed
my future generation with the explanation to dress in an ‘un-provocative’
manner to avoid unwanted attention, and to be back home on time!
I would have nothing much
to opinionate, if the man of the house wishes to refrain carrying out certain
domestic roles. And all this only to avoid a conflict in the house. Being a
loving parent or spouse has never been gender specific!
I am defiant that being
cat called is not being complimented but objectification of a human in its core
sense. It is 9 pm by the watch, and I am walking past a dark North Kolkata
by-lane. Am I left with any blatant option other than ignoring and pacing up to
reach home real fast?
So my dear women, it is
time to button up, unstitch your hemline atleast knee length, get ready to confront
a society that has disbelief in empathy, and ethics, take those khadi kurtis
out of our closet and put your summer gowns away, stop PMSing and start adoring
your monthly cramps because the world is a fair place, and yes if you are feminist,
you are fucked up!
